weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Randomize
