You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
