Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
