I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
