You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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