I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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