Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
