thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
