That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
