didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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