I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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