drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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