Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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