When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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