I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
