I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
