im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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