So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
