mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
