He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
