Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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