Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
