all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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