Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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