this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
