he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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