Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize