Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
