One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
