he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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