Need sex. Gaining weight.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
