I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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