she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
