she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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