I think i peed on brittanys purse
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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