Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
