Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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