the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize