The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
