can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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