C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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