I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
