i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
