I wish they made helmets for livers.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
