That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize