I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There are leaves in my underwear?
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