just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
