More tranny stories later!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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