All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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