The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
