I am spending my child support on dildos
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
