If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
