I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
