they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
