Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
