a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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