She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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