it was like his penis was on wheels.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
