Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize