Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
